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1) Can I Contest the Divorce?
Answer:  You can disagree with a divorce but you cannot stop it from happening.  Minnesota operates under “no fault” divorce laws, which means that one spouse can go forward with the divorce without proving the other spouse violated the marital covenant.    Because no fault must be found to get a divorce, there are no grounds upon which you can contest your spouse’s petition for a divorce. 
In Minnesota, the court requires that one spouse attest that the marriage is irretrievably broken and cannot be repaired.  You will be forced to participate in a divorce even if you don’t agree with it or think efforts at reconciliation can still be made.
If you find yourself in the position where your spouse wants the divorce you are not able to contest the divorce but you do have options.

2) But I don’t feel it is biblical for me to cooperate in getting a Divorce?
Answer:  Divorce is not God’s ideal plan for his creation.  When Jesus was being tested by the Pharisees in Matthew 19:3 he was asked “Is it lawful for man to divorce his wife for any and every reason?”  Jesus replied that from the beginning God intended marriage as his ideal plan for man and stated “what God has joined together, let man not separate."  The Pharisees then asked Jesus why Moses allowed man to get a divorce? Jesus replied that divorce was permitted because man’s heart had become hard, but it was not that way from the beginning.  
Despite your efforts at reconciliation and making the marriage work your spouse has the choice through his God given free will to leave the marriage.  He/she can stop efforts at reconciliation and marital therapy and file for a divorce without your consent.  (See 1. Can I Contest the Divorce).  Just as Jesus spoke about in Matthew your spouse’s heart might be hardened. 
If your spouse’s heart has been hardened you now have to consider your options. There is a difference between agreeing to a divorce and standing up for what is right for your family. 

3) Will our children be destroyed if we go through a divorce?
Answer:  Children are often the first casualty of a divorce.  Parents may unintentionally use the children to get back at a spouse.  Often times children are used as messengers from one spouse to another.  They can carry the weight of the divorce on their shoulders.  They may blame themselves for the divorce, feel pressure to choose a side, or feel fear that a parent will no longer love them.
Children don’t have to be a casualty of divorce.  You have a choice in what process you choose for you and your children’s future health and well-being.  Click here to find out more about Collaborative Divorce. 

4) How will we ever be able to make it financially in 2 homes?
Answer:  Along with the physical and emotional separation you are parting financially. The cost of supporting two households is higher than supporting only one.  However, with careful financial planning and budgeting it can be done.  Choosing a process that focuses on the future health and well being of your family is one step towards a healthy financial future

5) What is a biblical model for conflict resolution?
Answer: It is important to acknowledge that your family environment has likely become a conflict area.  Fortunately, scripture provides a great deal of direction for a model of conflict resolution. 
The bible enlightens us in 1 Corinthians 6 that Christians who have a dispute should first try to resolve them in private before taking them to the courts.  In addition, Jesus teaches in the Sermon on the Mount that his followers should seek peace and unity. (Matt 5:21-22)
Philippians 2:4 states, “Each of you should look not only to your own interests, but also to the interests of others.”  As conflicts arise Christians should negotiate through a cooperative process in which you and the other person seek to reach  a settlement that satisfies the legitimate needs of each side.
If a couple can’t reach agreement in private, they should ask one or more objective outside people to meet with them to help them communicate more effectively and explore possible solutions.  Matthew 18:16 says, “If he will not listen [to you], take one or two others along.”
Learn how the Collaborative process can help you use a cooperative process so you and your spouse can reach a solution that satisfies biblical principles to meet each others needs.

6) What options do I have?
YOU HAVE OPTIONS!  It is important that you know you have options.   Once the decision to get a divorce has been made (by one or both of you) your next step is to decide what process works the best for your family’s unique needs.  Contact us to learn more about your options from Litigation to the Collaborative process.

The Lord is near to the brokenhearted and save those
who are crushed in spirit. -Psalms 34:18